as i sit here...

here i am sitting in a local coffee shop (probably THE ONLY local coffee shop - I live in UT, you know...) waiting for yet another (surely) darling girl to come meet me here, and I have a moment to reflect.
is this my life?
here i am, about to hire an assistant.
someone employed by me.
little old me.
for my business.
that i started all on my own with a hope and a prayer.
because we were so broke i didn't know what else to do.
and as i sit here, i wonder... whose life is this?
did you know that most of my life i thought i was going to be a teacher?
did you know that i was so passionate about teaching and was certain there was nothing else that could make me feel so fulfilled?
did you know that when i was first married i wanted nothing more in the world than to be a mom and nothing else? i longed for babies, babies, and more babies. and when babies didn't come, i had to make new plans.
did you know that when babies finally came, i wanted nothing more than to be able to stay at home with my babies and not worry about a single thing other than whether to play with blocks or cars?
did you know that life NEVER goes according to plan? (at least not MY life.)
as i look back on that windy, turbulent, beautiful road i have walked down, i don't regret a single step.
sure, my life is crazy busy. sure, there are days when i want to give up and crawl into a hole. or at least crawl back into bed and lock the door and hope that someone else will show up to change the diapers and referee the boys and answer emails and clean the house. but right now, in this local coffee shop with free wifi (thank you!), i feel so blessed.
i strongly believe that God knows what He is doing with me.
He created the world. and He is creating me.
as stubborn as i am, and as much as i think my way is best, He knows better, and shows me.
i never would have planned to be supporting my husband through school at age 30.
i never would have planned to have my own business and make a living out of silly fabric flowers.
i never would have planned to be here at a local coffee shop in search of a mini-me to help tackle the ever increasing business that is growing before me.
but God has wanted to teach me humilty.
He has wanted to teach me perseverance and determination.
He has wanted me to learn to be a mother with a kind and appreciative heart.
He has wanted me to learn to be a wife that is supportive of her husband even when the road seems long and dark.
He has wanted me to find out more about ME. to give more of ME. to be who HE knows i am.

and I thank Him for that.

what does He want for you?